i don't understand why i'm so mellow like this. lonely. homesick. wanna go home. crying, especially before going to sleep, became my new daily activity for the first week in term3. at first i tried to think positively, it might be PMS, or might because holiday had just finished or might be iron deficiency ( i learned it at school that iron deficiency could lead us to be grumpy and sensitive and moody). but it's not! it's not PMS or holiday-mood nor iron deficiency but it's because i feel so lonely.
i'm not that friendly or easy to get along with other people. i could stay quiet if no one asked me anything. and there's not a lotta people who understand me ( when i said understand me, i really mean it). and voila, elizabeth vania feels lonely in this freckin auckland! last holiday, i went back to indonesia and gosh, i really realized that no matter how bad jakarta is, it's still my city, where i've grown up and spent most of my life. even though here was a bomb or some other things, jakarta is the most comfortable city in the world.