Growing Up

Since this morning, I've been visiting about 30 profiles of my primary friends in Facebook. Wow maaan! I've just realised how much they've grown up through these years. You know, they all have changed, from those geeky and nerdy kids to those fashionable and adorable people. I don't really interact with them anymore, but yea, I do miss them tho :)

My mind started to fly far far away, to a kingdom I used to go in my dream whenever I tried to be alone. Yea, I safely arrived there and the kingdom was just as hectic as usual. I went up to the mountain and voila, I found a perfect spot for me to split into two. 

My other personality and I.

I asked her if I have grown much but she just kept silent.

I asked her if I'm still a kid but she just smiled.

I kept on asking her so many questions about why I couldn't be like my friends, why they seemed so happy, why they seemed like the one I wanted to be.

Yea, I knew the answer and those questions were actually useless. I was brought to reality back and found myself still here, in my room, in front of my mac.

Things changed and will never be the same.

Time was just ticking away, didn't care even though I asked him to stop for a while.

I used to be such a strong girl, then I grew up, forgetting that I was strong. I grew up being such a fragile girl that thought she could do everything but things just didn't let her to. I grew up, forcing myself to be as strong as metal. Yeah, it worked, at the outside. I grew up by blaming people around me. I grew up and being such an arrogant girl, thought that I could do everything better than anyone else.

And I realised , I turned myself down.

I am the one who can change myself.

Not the time nor people around me.

I am the one who can make myself moved on.

Not the time nor people around me.

I am the one who understands what growing up means for myself.

Not the time or people around me.

Happy Birthday, X. Have a great one !